First, here’s the bad news:
If you were raised in a dysfunctional family (and most of us are to some degree), you are carrying baggage.
As children, we are open and vulnerable to the attitudes and behaviors around us.
We take them in, without the ability to filter what we observe.
We don’t know if the actions and attitudes we see around us are reasonable or dysfunctional.
If the marriage pattern you observed included disrespect and/or abuse, those negative patterns are recorded in your subconscious.
The way you were treated and the behavior you observed in your family is now a familiar pattern in your brain.
And here is the unfortunate part…
your brain will always guide you to what is familiar,
because it thinks familiarity equals safety.
So, if abuse, neglect, disrespect, alcoholism, or cheating are part of your history, you are likely to be drawn unconsciously toward men who have those traits, even when you consciously know better.
You don’t even realize it’s happening!
You keep trying to find better men, but the wrong ones keep showing up.
You may get discouraged and start thinking that ALL men are jerks.
But what actually happens, is your brain filters out the un-familiar ….
the good men.
You literally don’t see them.
Yuck! This is SO unfair!
But, here’s the good news:
With insight and practice, you can change your negative patterns.
When women are in a coaching program with me, one of the first things we address is the negative patterns they’ve accumulated.
We do this in two ways, first, by becoming consciously aware of the negative patterns and
second, by REPLACING THEM with healthier ones.
I give my clients the following exercise:
Look for men behaving well,
so you become familiar with
how to recognize good men.
“But what should I look for?” one of my clients asked.
I suggested she look for a man pushing a stroller, as he and his woman jog.
Or a man exiting the grocery store with a smile on his face, and carrying flowers.
Look for a man who is patiently explaining something to a child,
or helping a child who has fallen and skinned a knee.
Look for a man who is listening intently to the woman across the table from him,
or who respectfully holds the door for her as they leave the restaurant.
Look for a man who stops to offer assistance to a stressed new mother with an
infant, as she loads her groceries into her car.
As you consciously note good men, with positive behaviors,
you will literally see more of them!
Through repeated practice of this simple exercise, good men will gradually become
your new FAMILIAR pattern.
This is good news!
In addition to this simple exercise, we have coaching skills that can release limiting
decisions (your baggage) from your unconscious. Yay!
For example, as a child who observed spousal abuse, you may have unconsciously
made a decision that men are dangerous.
Now, years later, when you are consciously wanting to find a companion, your
unconscious mind, in a desire to protect you, sabotages your efforts.
When you remove the negative decision and replace it with a healthier one, your
brain will automatically guide you toward better and better men.
Yes, I said automatically! It will feel easy and natural!
I know you deserve to attract a loving and good man, and I know you can do it too, because many of my clients already have.
This step and many others are available to you via coaching with Angeline.
Stop letting time pass! Schedule a chat TODAY and start attracting the RIGHT men!
Click to book your Complimentary Call.