|Seems like people want to believe that if you find “the right one” then everything will be all sunshine and roses.
In that scenario, the conflicts are easily resolved, there’s never hurt feelings or anger, and the sex is amazing.
So, the trick is just to “find your perfect soul-mate.”
There’s a lot of relationship advice trying to sell that scenario.
And when it doesn’t work, you may feel like something is lacking in you.
Well, I’m sorry to tell you this, but that lovely scene is just a Hollywood illusion.
In real life, you are never going to find a perfect soul-mate, because there are NO perfect people, including yourself.
In real life, a great relationship is a process, a journey, not a destination.
A beautiful wedding happens in one day, but a wonderful relationship is the work of a life-time.
Great relationships are created by two people who are emotionally honest and willing to do the work.
They invest their effort and commit to the long-term.
When challenges appear, they look for win/win solutions.
From outside a great relationship, it may look like they simply found “the right person.”
For example, here’s a quote from a recent Gottman post:
In advance of her new memoir Becoming, Michelle Obama has opened up about what it’s like to be married to the president.
Speaking with Oprah Winfrey, the former First Lady revealed that she and Barack went to marriage counseling after their two daughters were born.
“I share this because I know that people look to me and Barack as the ideal relationship,” she told Oprah. “But whoa, people, slow down—marriage is hard!”
If you go into a relationship with stars in your eyes, looking for sunshine and roses, you will likely feel disappointed when you stumble over the thorns in your path.
Challenges are inherent when two people are learning to adjust and forming a team together.
Although the challenges will feel awful, as you work through them together, the relationship grows and becomes sweeter.
You each learn new skills to understand and support the other’s differences.
The result of this skillful effort is a deep love and acceptance, as you grow together.
It feels so wonderful to know that someone loves you for who you are.
It’s a relationship in which you each support the other to their greatest potential.
And yes, the sex is amazing!
So, don’t fall for any of those false promises of “finding the one” and riding off happily into the sunset.
|When you’re ready to learn the skills for building an authentic and juicy relationship, we should talk.|
https://relationshipmaster.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/love-2055372_640-1.jpg 426 640 Michael Ilacqua https://relationshipmaster.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/websitetitle-2.png Michael Ilacqua2020-03-15 22:21:472020-04-02 13:23:58The AWFUL truth about Relationships