This may sound like Pollyanna, but research studies have shown that the fastest way to go from feeling unhappy to feeling happier, is to acknowledge good things in your life. Count your blessings (yes, you do have some!). And some people call them miracles. It’s an internal shift from seeing the “half empty glass” to realizing it’s possible to fill any glass, so why complain about it being half empty?
When it comes to happiness in relationships, there is a direct connection to whether you focus on finding flaws (there are always flaws), or do you look for and acknowledge the positives.
I want to be clear, if there are serious issues that need to be addressed, this doesn’t mean you should slap a smile on your face and ignore the problem. No, you should address the problem and look for a win/win resolution. But, outside of that issue, look for the positives.
According to research, couples in happy relationships acknowledge five positives for every negative. The positives don’t have to be big things, they can be small. Focusing on positives, rather than negatives is one of the KEY ways to improve the quality of your relationships.
Yes, an attitude of gratitude for small miracles increases your happiness, reduces stress, strengthens immunity and leads to a longer more satisfying life overall.
So, how are you doing? Can you quickly think of at least five things for which to be grateful? Here’s what comes up for me in this moment: had a good salad for lunch, lost 1/2 pound this week, the weather is gorgeous, I love my new toenail polish color, and my husband is taking good care of himself by heading to a doctor appointment. Do yourself a favor and look for the silver lining in every cloud!
Some people teach themselves to increase their ability to notice the good things, by starting a gratitude journal. Every day, either morning or night, they list five things for which to be grateful. You can increase the challenge by never listing the same thing twice.
I’d love to hear how you’re doing with finding ways to appreciate the good. What methods have you found to help yourself? What challenges do you face? Or…do you think this whole “gratitude for miracles” thing is nuts
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To Your Relationship Mastery,
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